Situational Leadership, Through My Own Lens

For a long time, I noticed a pattern in my leadership that I didn’t fully understand — and honestly, I wasn’t always comfortable admitting it.

I consistently excelled when working with high performers and juniors who showed strong attitude and a growth mindset. But I struggled — sometimes deeply — with juniors who lacked ownership, curiosity, or willingness to improve.

At first, I questioned myself.

Was I being unfair? Impatient? Not empathetic enough as a leader?

Situational leadership helped me answer that question — but not in the way most leadership articles describe it.

This is how I’ve come to apply situational leadership personally, shaped by experience rather than theory.

The blind spot in classic situational leadership

Situational leadership traditionally asks you to diagnose two things:

• Competence — can the person do the job?
• Confidence — do they believe they can?

That framework is useful — but incomplete for me.

It didn’t explain why:

• I could happily spend hours coaching an inexperienced junior who asked thoughtful questions
• Yet feel drained and ineffective coaching another junior with the same skill level

The missing variable was obvious in hindsight.

The third dimension I couldn’t ignore: intent

Over time, I realized I was already using a third diagnostic axis — just unconsciously.

Intent: the willingness to learn, take ownership, and grow.

Once I made this explicit, everything clicked.

I wasn’t reacting to seniority or skill gaps. I was reacting to pull vs. push:

• People with intent create pull — they seek clarity, feedback, and responsibility
• People without intent require constant push — reminders, enforcement, repetition

My leadership style naturally amplifies pull. It struggles with push-heavy situations.

That’s not an excuse. It’s a reality to work with.

Why I thrive with juniors who have a growth mindset

When a junior shows:

• Curiosity
• Preparation
• Follow-through

I instinctively shift into high-support coaching mode:

• I explain context, not just tasks
• I share mental models, not just answers
• I invest time because I see compounding returns

These juniors don’t just improve — they accelerate. And I, in turn, feel energized rather than depleted.

This is situational leadership at its best: high direction + high support → rapid growth.

Why I struggle with juniors who lack attitude

When intent is missing, situational leadership on paper says I should:

• Increase structure
• Increase coaching
• Be patient

In reality, something else happens:

• Effort doesn’t compound
• Feedback doesn’t stick
• The same issues repeat

What drains me isn’t low skill. It’s low ownership.

That’s when I learned a hard but important lesson:

Situational leadership is a diagnostic tool — not an obligation to invest endlessly.

How I apply situational leadership differently now

1) I diagnose intent early

Beyond skill and confidence, I look for signals:

• Are questions thoughtful or passive?
• Is feedback acted on?
• Do they prepare, or wait to be told?

Intent shows up quickly if you pay attention.

2) I make the leadership contract explicit

With juniors who struggle, I say this early (in my own words):

“I’ll support you closely at the start.
But effort, curiosity, and ownership are expected.
If those don’t show up, we’ll need to change how we work together.”

This creates clarity — for them and for me.

3) I time-box heavy coaching

Instead of open-ended patience:

• I set a short window (2–4 weeks)
• I define observable behaviors
• I reassess based on evidence, not hope

This keeps coaching intentional rather than emotional.

4) I scale investment, not respect

This was a mindset shift.

I don’t treat everyone identically — but I treat everyone fairly.

I adapt my leadership style to capability, but I scale my investment based on intent.

That’s not favoritism. That’s sustainable leadership.

What situational leadership means to me now

Situational leadership isn’t about being endlessly flexible or endlessly patient.

It’s about:

• Meeting people where they are
• And being honest about how far they’re willing to walk

Some people need guidance. Some need confidence. Some need boundaries.

And some — despite support — aren’t ready.

Recognizing that doesn’t make you a bad leader. It makes you an accurate one.

Closing thought

I no longer judge my leadership by how much I give, but by whether my investment creates growth.

Situational leadership, applied personally, isn’t about saving everyone.

It’s about creating conditions where those who want to grow can truly thrive — and having the courage to stop pushing when growth isn’t being met halfway.

That’s the version of leadership I stand by.